I won't be posting here anymore...We are moving to http://fruitlooped.wordpress.com I wanted to say thanks to those of you who have followed my journey so far and come on over to the new site. I am still learning some of the features so bear with me ok :) Hope to see you there!

I am tired of having a label. It's like a sentence. Like you have to serve your infertile time - should be indefinite time. Well we grabbed up the chance to do it with our old donor. We did it old school way - just us a cup and a syringe. No catheter, no fertility drugs and no doctor assistance. Which basically spells out NO chance but who can spell nowadays anyway right? aren't we all hooked on phonics :)

You will have to excuse my absence this past week as I was out of the state attending the funeral of my 28 yr. old cousin. Rumor has it that he died of an overdose. I wasn't very surprised at the news seeing as he has tried to "kick the bucket" several times only hasn't succeeded. I am sad though. He had so much life to live and it seems such a waste. Not to mention the heartache he put his mom and sister through. I had to move our vacation up a week and not get to go to the beach because I had to go to WV. All's well though 'cause right now there is a hurricane in the gulf and we'd be gettin rained on like a mofo. Trip is rescheduled for sometime later this year (after hurricane season :)

In baby land we might try tomorrow with our old donor since we cannot afford to go to the doc this month. Doc appt will be scheduled for sometime mid month in August. That will give us a May baby - I think that sounds good :)

So, I have a birthday coming up. I am not really as excited as I should be I guess - getting another year older and not being a mommy has really put a damper on this years festivities. I was telling Jo the other day "remember our plan to e parents by the age of 24". HA yeah right. We are about three years overdue for that little present. Not that we haven't been trying. My mom is also having a birthday next sunday - she is feeling the same way about the baby thing. I swear she will just start pimping us out if something doesn't go our way soon.

While we are on the subject of babies - we have been offered a surrogate. For real. We have been talking it over the last couple of days with her and each other and have almost decided that it's a good plan. Draw backs of the plan are - we don't get to carry (which I apparently can't anyway - deserves another post), there is no guarantee since we are using her egg that she will give us the baby when it's born (THIS IS A HUGE ?????) and we live in florida and did I mention that adoption is illegal here so we will have to apply for full legal co-guardianship with the courts. Having said all that I am sure you are thinking well - it doesn't sound that great to me - well all I can say is it's not the IDEAL situation but we are willing at this point to try anything. We are sort of desperate without sugar coating it. Since I have listed all the bad I should really list the good to give you more balanced information. Good things are: We are using baby batter that we paid for so I am more comfortable with the fact that she can give up the babe once it arrives since it's not her husbands, full legal guardianship is just as good as adoption (as long as the bio mom doesn't try to get it back) and we get a baby.

Two mainThings stick out from this

1. We are operating on a bunch of IF's which is not comforting to me - but as Jo says you gotta trust someone - so here is me trusting .

2. We get a baby - this one is the most exciting and the most scary.

Thats basically the head space we are in right now - don't know how it's gonna turn out - don't know how we are gonna do it - but I do know we are gonna try. No Regrets. Wish us luck.